.:*:.kEnZiE.:*:..

(Click here to post your own answers for this meme.)

✓ I miss somebody right now.	× I don't watch much TV these days.	✓ I own lots of books.
× I wear glasses or contact lenses.	× I love to play video games.	✓ I've tried marijuana.
✓ I've watched porn movies.	✓ I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.	× I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
✓ I curse sometimes.	✓ I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.	× I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.

( it goes on... )

i know i've been neglecting you, poor LJ. and it is my duty as one of the very original LJers to continue my everlasting devotion to you. i truly am sorry. please forgive me, dear LJ, you were one of my first internet loves. myspace will never take that away from you. sincerely, mckenzie.


well, i'm in one of those "moods" i start thinking about past college experiences and my long lost friends of saint mary's and i honestly get really sad. because i think, i was only there for a 5 months yet i couldn't even look past all my insecurities to see how much fun i was truly having. i worried about way too much to let myself have fun. i sometimes wish i could go back and do it all over, in a way i sense a certain amount of regret inside. but i don't want to be one of those people that constantly regrets having done something. because, for some reason, i do believe that everything happens for a reason. and there's nothing you can really do to change that. so that is that...even though it still doesn't make me stop and think about what could have been. like, would i still have been friends with the same people? would i have had a better time and actually been graduated by now? would i have a real job with real pay? i can only guess. but then, i know i would have never met the love of my life, kevin. so in many ways, it goes both ways. it is bittersweet.

</table

In the year 2006 I resolve to: Be kinky more often. Get your resolution here

i really can't understand why i get so pissed about my work schedule. i get all angry when i'm not scheduled for many hours but then i get angry if i'm scheduled too many hours!! haha. i get burnt out too easily. but the big bucks i'll be making over the holidays definitely outways the anger.

You fit in with: Humanism Your ideals mostly resemble that of a Humanist. Although you do not have a lot of faith, you are devoted to making this world better, in the short time that you have to live. Humanists do not generally believe in an afterlife, and therefore, are committed to making the world a better place for themselves and future generations. 20% spiritual. 80% reason-oriented.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

am i the last person on the planet that (until tonite) had not seen Virgin Suicides? haha. well i saw it w/ kevin. very odd. i liked it, but i wish there was more character development. the mom was so bizarre, yet i could never understand, beyond her excessive religious zealous, why. i dunno. it definitely left me thinking, which i suppose is the whole point of a good movie. i kept wondering if i had missed something.

oh and costco has super meals. i bought this mushroom/bacon/garlic drenched flank steak today, and it was delicious! all i had to do was pop it in the oven. i prefer grilling meat, especially beef, but being that it was 8 oclock and fairly dark i opted for the oven. i spent over $220 @ costco today. over $200 on clothes. Kevin spent maybe another $300 on random (but needed) things. very busy and expensive day.

ps-has anybody seen Super Troopers? i think i wasted a good hour and a half of my life, my b/f on the other hand worships the movie...

my boyfriend is such a fucking bastard. he gets off early from work and doesn't even come pick me up or anything.doesn't take me to lunch doesn't even drop by and say hello. he knows how much i miss him and how terribly lonely i get here by myself. yet he doesn't even consider that. how awful is he? instead he drives to his friends house to watch football. how fucking retarded is that. he doesn't even pick me up. yeah i know i didn't really want to go but i would have if he would have made an effort to come by. i makes me realize that i'm not of importance to him...football is more important obviously. plus, there isn't ANYTHING to eat here, i have no money (cuz i pay the bills) so i can't eat anything. what a thoughtless jerk. i hate him right now. to top it off. we haven't had good sex in forever. its just "get off quick" sex...i fucking hate that. he never wants to touch me anymore. never wants to kiss me. i absolutely hate our relationship right now. i'd be better off single. way better off. much happier.

i'm so freaking evil. it feels AWESOME.

so my stolen cable isn't working. i'm not sure if its due to the destructive hands of a 1 year old, or because we were finally "found out". okay okay...i didn't really STEAL the cable, it was already here when we moved into our rental. i didn't think much of it b/c HEY thats like 50 bucks a month we're saving, and neither kevin nor i watch all that much TV anyways. but yeah, i guess we're gonna be calling COX to figure this out. bye bye free cable.

why is it that everything free is sooo much better?

i seem to always get screwed on my work schedule. "here mckenzie take this shitty shift cuz no one wants to work it" ... "what you already have obligations? well then change them!"

!#@!

okay so i never freaking update at all anymore. but i think i ought to since i have nothing else to do at the moment..except continually call the cops about the incessant NOISE my neighbors three houses down are making. damn garage band, pisses me off. i ALWAYS hear the freaking drums, but sometimes when i'm super fucking lucky i get to hear the entire band and their continual cursing.

anyways, i moved in with kevin almost a month ago. its been okay. we've gotten in 2 major arguments. but otherwise its been okay. i'm still not happy with our living situation. i go to school and work and he does the same. we just never see each other. i hate that part of it. other than that its okay.

this dude is totally pissing me off. i hate drums so much. why can't they be a classical band or something pretty. even a cement mizer sounds melodious compared to their shit.

which brings me to remember my old days of music. *sigh* i miss playing....ok enough of that.

besides dominating my classes this term, nothing else much is new. i never see kevin and kevin never sees me. its a perfect relationship. maybe someday we'll get married, but as it stands, he doesn't think we're ready. bah. we're living together what does he want. boo

I am: 39% Republican.

"You're probably one of those chicken-littles who thinks maybe we should worry a little bit, occasionally, about the fate of the planet that our lives all depend on."

Are You A Republican?

i love my fantastic boyfriend

bluekittenfairy's LiveJournal Slut Stats The below percentages indicate what bluekittenfairy has done with the 52 people on her friends list!

met 25.0% hugged 23.1% dated 3.8% kissed 3.8% seen topless 1.9% seen naked 1.9% phone sexed 3.8% made out 1.9% oral sex 1.9% fucked 1.9%

What are your LiveJournal Slut Stats? Sponsored via Adult Friend Finder. Keep this meme and others like it checking it out or getting free account! You may meet the match of your dreams!

OH MY GOD. it's been forever. i've ust been too busy to be near LJ. since i'm a myspace whore and all. anyways, i slowly feel like i'm totally read to live on my own. i don't know why, or how it would ever be possible. but i want so terribly to be able to move out and be on my own. i would love to move in with kevin and we could be together all the time, but i'm not sure he'd be ready for that. i'm not exactly the easiest person to get along with, i realize that. but with kevin, i couldn't be happier. granted his past does get me all uptight sometimes, but thats because i'm insecure. i just wonder things about his sex life, like how he held other girls-is it like he does to me? is sex something special and different with me than it was with all 11 of his other girls? it just bothers me because i'm as nearly experienced in that department as he is. i wonder too many things too much of the time. it always goes back to his past. i just think about how he mustve really wanted to some girls and what happened. like, why didn't he get with some really hot chick, why me? he really could do so much better than me. for one i'm not as pretty as what he could get, and second i'm not AT ALL nice to him. i'm always stressed out and ALWAYS cranky and i always take it out on him-which i realize isn't right, but it just happens that way. its just the luck of the draw, anybody who happens to be around me at the time of my stressyness, gets the crappy end of the stick.

tomorrow we're going to LA. i have a Biology field trip to the LA zoo and he's driving me there the night before, how sweet is that? i'm happy i have such a nice boyfriend. we're staying at the hilton too! i <3 priceline. i never really considered it until today. i book the room for only 60 bucks! and a normal room there costs about 175-200. pretty rad huh? i just hope its not like on the first floor next to the maid's quarters or something. that would really suck. hands down though, our weekend at santa barbara was the best ever. i really loved that room. it was classy yet really homey. it was totally emaculate and clean. it was wonderful. i can't wait to go back sometime. i would love to just stay for the weekend and relaz. just sit with the doors open and cuddle up to him in bed all morning and afternoon. just cuddle and spend time together. thats what i love so much about him, he's so loveable. and we can be doing absolutely nothing and i feel so special and loved. i think the best thing in the world is when he smiles at me. that's my most favorite gift he's ever given me. who knew that something as simple as a smile directed at me could make me so happy and feel so fulfilled. nothing in the world could make me happier than seeing him smile. it really is something.

i've never been in love the way i am with him. i feel like i have my lover and best friend all wrapped into one. i guess that's what they consider a soul mate. granted we have our tiff's, mostly because of my anger and sometimes his irresponsibility, but that stuff happens. and we're young and things will work out. for now i'm just so happy to be with him. and i'm happy to be spending a night all to ourselves this friday. these weekend trips really relax me and make me feel good about my life and my future with kevin. if God could give me anything in this world, it would be a long life with kevin.

why does my boyfriend love me?

slowly, the day is creeping up, dec 25th. not only is it christmas, but its the day i leave for my trip. how scary is that? i just hope everything goes smoothly, esp with the flight and stuff. i still haven't begun packing, how dumb am i? hopefully i'll get everything done tomorrow. it's been difficult to get all my stuff together b/c of work until 1 am every day. i'm trying not to think about it right now

tomorrow is dinner @ the Philley's. i'm looking forward to it, but deep inside i'll be really sad about leaving. i love kevin so much, i've never truly wanted to be with someone this much. i love how when we argue (and of course we do) everything turns out okay. i dont feel grudge-like afterwards, and if anybody knows anything about me and my grudges, they'd know that's pretty awesome.

tonite was my last nite at Macy*s working the fragrance counter. tough stuff you know? haha, we the worst part was answering everybody's questions and remaining sane and cordial by midnite. fyi-closing sucks balls. overall i liked the experience, the girls are all fun to work with, esp michelle. she was sweet, she gave me a hug after work-i felt **special**. so yeah, i guess that's that. i wish i could get a p/t job. sort of...then again, i dont. isn't there a way to get money and not have to work hard at it? prolly not. oh well.

i'm not even sleepy right now, amazing huh? i feel like i should start packing. infact, i'm going to start getting stuff organized to pack. i'm trying to remind myself not to take an assload of stuff so i can bring back alot of gifts. i hope i don't cry too much at the airport, i know i will if kevin will-definitely. i've never had anybody cry over me (that i know of). it would feel good, in a very sick way. i would never want someone to ever be that sad, but then, it makes you feel like you have a special place in someone's heart, at least enough to make them cry. but i already know i have one in kevin's. i really know i have a special place within him, as he does with me.

last minute holiday shopping list

1.) Guess Swarovski Crystal Cuff Watch - $65.00
( http://www.guess.com/Product.aspx?dept=3&sdept=1&class=14&sclass=0&style=66290L&filter=0&sort=0 )

2.) Guess Double Heart Toggle Necklace - $25.00
( http://www.guess.com/Product.aspx?dept=3&sdept=1&class=7&sclass=1&style=85249642 )

3.) Dooney and Bourke Hearts Key Chain - $25.00
( http://store.dooney.com/OA_HTML/dbibeCCtpSctDspRte.jsp?section=15013 )

4.) Dooney and Bourke Nile Cuff Bracelet [in black or brown] - $35.00
( http://store.dooney.com/OA_HTML/dbibeCCtpSctDspRte.jsp?section=15021 )

5.) Burberry Cashmere Muffle - $225.00
( http://www.burberryusaonline.com/product/index.jsp?productId=1899943&cp=1863803.1855220&parentPage=family )

6.) Burberry Brit Charm Bracelet Watch - $450.00
( http://www.burberryusaonline.com/product/index.jsp?productId=1882800&cp=1863803.1900481&parentPage=family )

7.) Burberry Classic Check Mini Sling - $225.00
( http://www.burberryusaonline.com/product/index.jsp?productId=1882820&cp=1863803.1874960&page=5&pageBucket=0&parentPage=family )

8.)Paris Hilton Sterling Silver and Swarovski Crystal Heart Earrings - $40.00
( http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/tg/detail/-/B0002IBKJ0/sr=1-3/qid=1103579855/ref=sr_1_3/104-2119499-7248745?%5Fencoding=UTF8&n=3880591&s=jewelry&v=glance )

9.)Paris Hilton eau de Parfum - $39.00
( http://www.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=140132&PseudoCat=Search&keyword=paris%20hilton )

10.) DKNY Be Delcious eau de Parfum Spray - $48.00
( http://www.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=141016&CategoryID=16180&LinkType=EverGreen )

11.) Escada Magnetism Eau de Parfum Spray - $58.00
( http://www.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=109352&CategoryID=12304&LinkType=EverGreen )

12.) *sigh*
( http://www.macys.com/catalog/product/index.ognc?ID=112473&CategoryID=5888&LinkType=EverGreen )

13.) Steiff Teddy Bear - $105.00
( http://www.fao.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=1050&categoryId=126&parentCategoryId=90 )

14.) Philosophy Holiday Gingerbread House - $35.00
( http://store.nordstrom.com/product/product_brandboutique.asp?styleid=2849388&boutique=holiday_beauty&category=2377897~2377898~2381644~2381645&Search=True&keyword=philosophy+%3E+In+All+Categories&SearchType=keywordsearch )

15.) MAC 5 Glitter Charms - $28.50
( http://store.nordstrom.com/product/product_brandboutique.asp?styleid=2853548&boutique=holiday_beauty&category=2377897~2377898~2381644~2381646&NextStyleID=2830159&PrevStyleID=2852570 )

16.)Philosophy Holiday Chocolate Lovers Cookbook - $30.00
( http://store.nordstrom.com/product/product_brandboutique.asp?styleid=2850364&boutique=holiday_beauty&category=2377897~2377898~2381644~2381645&NextStyleID=2848230&PrevStyleID=2849388 )

17.) Chanel Mini Glossimier Trio - $45.00
( http://store.nordstrom.com/product/product_chanel.asp?productID=MALPR35K )

18.) Philosophy Falling in Love: Daily, Topical Pheromone for a Sense of Well-Being - $60.00
( http://store.nordstrom.com/product/product_brandboutique.asp?styleid=2791834&boutique=philosophy&category=2377897~2377898~2378604~2378770~2381458&Search=True&keyword=philosophy+%3E+In+All+Categories&SearchType=keywordsearch )

i really haven't been moved to update lately. been too busy, with the boyfriend, p/t work, christmas shopping, and getting ready for the big trip. it's all alot of work. *sigh*. i just wish i had a few moments to not have anything to do and not have to worry about what's going to happen next. i either start worrying about the trip or get freaked out about work. it's so not healthy but oh well. sooner than i realize school will start and all my time i get to spend with Kevin will be gone. it's going to be really hard to handle. sometimes i wished we could live together or that either of us had our own place so that we could crash whenever. i sort of do that already, but i feel like such the moocher. plus i don't want to piss the parents off. i do love him alot, and i feel like i can never have enough of him. i miss being held at night and cuddling next to his warm snuggly body. hmm, i'm going to miss that tonite. oh well, i'll update more later. everything is pretty good, i just am insecure about things that i shouldn't be. this relationship truly is the best one yet. and i hope its the last relationship i have with anyone. i really can see myself with kevin until the very end-which, is very scary. it's like seeing your life in one person. it's like, wow-there it is, that's it. and i really would love to spend my life with him. very very odd that i'd even think about it this early on. and its frightening b/c something could go terribly wrong, then all my notions of being sure of myself and any situation reguarding a relationship would be wrong. it's sad, i can't even be sure of myself. oh well, who is really? i just know that i want to be with him. and that makes me happy.

hahaha i don't believe in LJ cuts, MAHAHA so there.

aren't we adorable though!?!?!

*sigh* our first photo together. lovelovelovelove.

that's the future Mrs. Kevin Philley right there. don't you think we'd make sexy babies? i think so. infact, i think we should get on with that project ASAP. ^_^